Discussion with, notes from OHSU social worker Myong, conflicting stories from my mom, evidence of a take down plan 1/23/2014

It is really clear beyond clear that my mother was part of a bigger take-down operation aimed at me, that she either had marching orders from another entity, or had planned the operation with another entity, or both. I say this because her behavior at the time was both so persistent, so consistent with others, and so weird, and because her story about this day has been morphing over the years in what seems like an obvious attempt to justify her behavior.

There were a number of things being done, obviously deliberately, to make it difficult to prove what was and was not going on. These include lots of people lying at once, but all telling slightly different lies, the use of Ativan which creates amnesia, menacing behaviors like stalking (both on foot and by car, by people I don’t know and have never met), and lots and lots of gaslighting.

The attempted but aborted psychological hold on January 20, 2014 was completely unjustified; based only on my attempt to report evidence of unlawful surveillance to police which they immediately declared “paranoid delusions.” I would just say that, even if I were having paranoid delusions, which I was not, there was no basis for a psychological hold. In any case, it was obvious to me that there was surveillance going on, and once I realized I couldn’t safely report this to police, I was in a bit of a crisis. What do I do? I hoped that maybe I could find evidence of hidden cameras and then possibly go back to police. This thinking was based on the mistaken notion that police were genuinely not believing me because I hadn’t provided enough evidence. This, I eventually realized, was false. They knew the surveillance was going on and had been involved in it. From the beginning these trips to the doctor were about denying me my rights and thwarting the justice process.

On January 22 I spoke with the social worker called Myong, probably for a couple of reasons, one being that I was disturbed by the behavior of the police and I wanted to document in some other way what was going on. Once again, little did I know, I was likely reporting to someone directly involved in the activity and cover up. The sentence in the chart notes (see bottom of document) about me wanting to get more Ativan from my PCP has to be false. I had no desire to get more Ativan, didn’t even want the ones I had. My issue wasn’t anxiety, it was crime.

In these notes, the “belief” that my house has been bugged is listed as an indication of paranoia. However, I think that by now I’ve showing pretty compelling evidence that there has in fact been surveillance of this type going on – therefore, the primary claim that was being made about my state of mind being out of line with reality (“paranoid”) – is false.

The following day a call is reported from my mother. Here, there are some gaps in my memory. What I do remember is taking an Ativan. It was the second Ativan from the prescription that I had taken. I am not sure why I took it. It might be that my mother told me to take it and I said ok. The reason I took the first Ativan is because the doctor made it a condition of my being released from the hospital on January 20.

But what I remember about January 23, and I think this is important, is that my mother showed up at the house, and told me to take an Ativan, and I said I’d already taken one and she kept insisting that I take another. I couldn’t figure out why she would be doing this, because she’s not really a pill-popping kind of person. She wouldn’t let my 91 year old grandmother taken even 2.5mg of oxycodone, for example, even though my grandmother suffered from neck pain that I now realize was from biomedical implants, like the ones in my neck.

Once I took two Ativan, it affected my ability to function, and it affected my memory.

I was very concerned about surveillance devices in our home, as anyone would or should be, if evidence of this kind had come out. When I had spoken with Myong on January 22, she suggested I make a plan of action to deal with the problem at hand and I did, and the first thing I wanted to do was acquire bug detector to research this for myself. I recall that Myong was supportive of this as being a reasonable plan, but I don’t see anything like this in her notes.

I tried to get my mom to support me in this and this is where I find her behavior inexplicable without there being some kind of malfeasance going on – if I had reason to believe that there were hidden cameras being used to surveil and exploit her teenage grand daughter, she should want to address this just the same as I did. But she did the opposite. She said that I was “delusional.” She denies saying this now, but it was the first time that I ever heard this word being used on me, and it was because I made a claim that I have since provided ample evidence in support.

She was also very gung ho about involving doctors in this. She kept trying to get me to see a doctor or someone like Myong, and I told her I’d already seen this person the day before. So she may have asked if she could call her. Now of course, I’m thinking, we made this game plan of acquiring a bug detector, so perhaps Myong will explain that to her. Clearly, that did not happen.

This quote: “Maybe there aren’t cameras in the house but I’ve never had breaks in reality” if it is an actual quote, is taken out of context. I’m not conceding that there are no cameras, I’m saying that whether or not we find hidden cameras doesn’t have a bearing on whether I’m “delusional” – the word my mother used.

This part about me writing something on my website about ending my life is false. The first time I saw something about that was in doctors notes from the abduction event that occurred on January 27. First of all, I never wrote that I was going to end my life. So the next part is just complete fabrication, either from my mother or from Myong. I don’t remember my mom having a conversation out of my earshot, and I would have remembered if something this nutty had been said, making me think it is Myong who made this up. But I also think it’s based on a script, and that my mother, the police, and all the doctors were working from, and riffing off of, this same script.

In any case, there’s this note about me having “obsessive behaviors” while on Ativan – this is after my mom practically forced two pills down my throat. My mom has very little contact with me and if I did have “obsessive behaviors” one has to ask how she would know about it.

The thing about “other daughter has bipolar disorder” is a mistake. My mom was probably referring to her sister, Joan.

So there was this thing about me agreeing to go to Cascadia for a walk in evaluation. I never agreed to go to Cascadia. What I did, in order to get my mom to stop changing the topic from solving the problem to talking to doctors, was agree to go speak with Myong. There was no “deal” about my mom giving me money to buy a bug detector though it’s possible it was discussed. In any case, the truth is that I never intended to follow through on this, because it was a stupid demand. I’d just been to see Myong the day before. (Myong works at Kaiser Richmond which is next door to Cascadia.) What would be the point of me going again? I now think, in retrospect, this was a take down plan. They were trying to get me committed, which is something that could happen at a place like Cascadia, which has an inpatient facility.

Years later, my mom told me that the reason she called mental health services while I was trying to locate an attorney in Sacramento was because I had threatened to “swallow the entire bottle of Ativan.” Mind you, at this point, we’re talking about four or five pills. I do not remember saying anything like this. In her retelling of this alleged event, her presentation of it has morphed from me exclaiming in exasperation “why don’t I just take the whole bottle then!” as a sarcastic sounding response to her trying to force the second pill on me, to the way she presented it today, where I stand in the middle of the room holding the bottle of pills and declare “I am going to take this entire bottle of pills!” and she, the concerned parent, is terrified at my obviously suicidal behavior. I can say categorically that there is no way in hell that this happened. I was two days out of narrowly escaping a psychiatric hold and there was no way I was going to do anything to make anyone think I was suicidal.

Another thing about all of this is in all the paperwork I have from Sacramento, any notes about me having made suicidal threats sort of look like an afterthought. There is a lot of paperwork saying a lot of things, but there’s nothing about me threatening to swallow a bottle of Ativan. There is a note about “suggestions of self harm on blog” but that was false and I have to ask, would it have been too much effort to actually check my blog before handcuffing me and removing my freedom? There’s a cryptic note on another form that says “wants to kill self.” Fabrication.