"Abbreviated" Timeline of Events (written in late January 2016)

2012 & possibly earlier: A "secret" anxiety diagnosis from OHSU

Though I did not know this until receiving OHSU medical notes (dated November 23, 2015), multiple doctors at my family clinic (OHSU Richmond Family Clinic) have been diagnosing me with an "anxiety state." I do not recall ever being told of this diagnosis at OHSU, and had I been told of it, I would have argued vehemently against it. I do believe that I have some mild form of ADHD, and I also believe that I have some degree of PTSD, which, when triggered, causes certain "disproportionate" (but still not unreasonable) responses which may look something like anxiety. When I am in severe pain, it may also look like "anxiety" - but it may be that anyone who has not experienced severe pain of this type - even doctors? - don't know how to distinguish a pain response from anxiety.

It is also true that after (and during) a period of extreme duress in my personal and professional life, as a single mother with almost no financial and social support, I did experience a period of situation-related anxiety which eventually led to a series of panic attacks. The "panic disorder" was a real but transitory experience which began in 2004, peaked in late 2005 and early 2006, and tapered off in 2007. At that time I also tapered off the associated medication, Ativan. Between 2008 and 2010 I experienced a handful of scattered panic attacks, but I do not think that after 2007 I was ever experiencing what could legitimately be called an "anxiety state." In 2010, as a result of having my pain plan stopped, as I transitioned to medical marijuana, I experienced a tremendous amount of severe pain. The pain may have caused some anxiety (I don't think it was the other way around). I know for a fact that I was not in a state of anxiety in 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, nor an I in an anxiety state today. To say that I was in an "anxiety state" almost every time I visited the doctor's office over the past decade is a tremendous exaggeration, and I am suspicious that it was a deliberate and calculated exaggeration, not simply a genuine misunderstanding of my personality or response to chronic severe pain. It astounds me that, except for one brief mention of it as a possibility I asked to be evaluated for ADHD (and was denied), at OHSU I was never told of this "anxiety" diagnosis. 

To be clear: I am certain that my chronic severe pain was not "caused" by anxiety as I have had chronic severe pain without associated anxiety for two and a half decades. The anxiety/panic attacks were a temporary state which began at the age of 36, occurred primarily between 2004 and 2006 (a span of two years, and ending nearly a decade ago). I vehemently disagree with OHSU's "anxiety state" diagnosis, and I think the motives for giving such a diagnosis, and not telling me about it, are extremely suspect.

July-October 2013

Beginning in late 2010 I had been publishing articles about music on an Australia-based music blog called Collapse Board. In July 2013 I began to research and write an article about my boyfriend's former band, Napalm Beach. In the course of researching and writing this article, I began to notice odd activity in my WordPress account which took the form of edits to my articles disappearing almost instantaneously. This is something which would happen if the account were open in more than one location simultaneously. After confirming that I only had one instance of my account open on my computer, I couldn't figure out why the same problem kept happening.

Later on in the research process I discovered some very disturbing patterns as far as the band, Napalm Beach, being imitated (in terms of sound, recording technique, and even fashion) by other bands, especially Seattle band associated with the "Grunge" scene - and yet completely ignored by the music industry and local press as to their contributions to the geography of Northwest music. 

The article on Napalm Beach was published in October 2013.

Fall 2013

I had already seen that the band called Mudhoney and their label, Sub Pop, had taken a great deal of musical technique from Napalm Beach. About the time that the band Nirvana celebrated the 20 year anniversary of their final album, In Utero, I began to understand that the situation was being referenced in Nirvana's lyrics, via coded language. 

I began to write about this as well, building up a lexicon of coded words. I was now writing on a personal blog, having split with Collapse Board. Stats told me that my blog was being read by a few people, but I received very little feedback in the form of blog comments, etc.

Tuesday January 7, 2014

In response to an analysis of a music video for a 2013 Alice In Chains song called "The Devil Put Dinosaurs" here I receive a comment on my blog reading in part: "You're insane. Stop taking so many drugs and seek therapy to relieve yourself of the poison idea that somehow, your boyfriend is the subject of some bizarre conspiracy. No one buried Chris, except Chris himself. He is a loser and so are you." The commenter reports his (or her) handle as "U_know_who" and email as "press@subpop.com.  The IP is 205.232.245.38 (Portland).

Friday night, January 17, 2014 (not 100% certain of this date)

Tobi Vail, on her Twitter account, makes a reference to a Wipers video called "The Search." I click on the link and see the video.  I notice something strange about the YouTube account associated with it, and then I see it is associated with *my* Google accounts. That channel had been created from a back door on the my YouTube and/or Google account. I now have to "search" for the backdoor and eliminate it. This, and other things, lead me to believe that Tobi Vail, a long-time fixture in the NW music industry, as well as members of the band Mudhoney, are involved in hacking my accounts. 

Saturday January 18, 2014

On January 18 I notice that YouTube has undergone a sudden and drastic change. Specifically, numerous - maybe hundreds - of new accounts have sprung up out of nowhere, though they appear to have existed for a very long time. They appear to have existed for a long time, because dates, numbers of plays, and comments make them appear that way. But I have never seen these channels before. There are numerous old television shows (twilight zone, outer limits), full movies, and lots of songs and music. Many of these videos are distinctive in that they feature "hypnotic" features such as glowing points of light, target shapes, pulsing.  Another common feature are bright disruptive flashes of lights and color. They seemed designed to create cognitive disruptions. Several of these videos seem to be enticing fearful thought, with images of war, flames, and violence. Several make "suicidal" suggestions.

(The following year, January - March 2015, similar effects occurred, this time on television channels including KGW/NBC and OPB/PBS).

It becomes clear that there is an intent to seduce me (or someone) into watching these new videos and to use these videos to "hypnotize" or otherwise disrupt normal cognitive processes, so I turn off the computer and stop watching the videos.

I believe it was the same evening (January 18) that I noticed all my facebook accounts (personal accounts, label account, band accounts) had been hacked and altered.  Images were re-captioned to make us look ridiculous.

I also saw that my facebook "friends" had altered their personal photos to be weird or disturbing. For example, a girl named Marissa with a local band called "Slutty Hearts" had uploaded a picture of herself making an ugly face and crying red tears. Others had uploaded photos of zombie like faces, one eye closed, etc.  Because the alterations were so extensive, I chose to delete my facebook accounts.

Sunday January 19, 2014

While working in my office I noticed sunlight reflecting off of mirrored lanterns hanging from my neighbor's back porch. It flashed through my window curtains, and was cognitively disrupting. I had never noticed anything like it before. I went next door and asked them to remove the lanterns, which they claimed had been hanging there since the previous summer. If that is the case, I believe that the mirrors which caused the sunlight to reflect and flash through my window, were a new addition.

I notice that Carrie Brownstein has written a very odd and cryptic essay published in the New York Times entitled "You can tell everyone this is your song." (I believe a few weeks later certain parts of the essay are edited in such a way as to change the semantic meaning.)

Monday January 20, 2014 (Martin Luther King Day)

In response to a blog entitled "Red is Seattle, Blue is Olympia" (an early attempt to analyze certain color symbolism I was seeing in local music album covers and music videos) - I receive another comment from (presumably) the same commenter "U_know_who" press@subpop.com, this one beginning:

Wow. At this point, I truly fear for your sanity. I'm afraid that you may become a danger to yourself and others.

In light of the new "hypnotic" YouTube videos, I believe that this comment is intended to be a "suggestion." Since I have no intent of becoming "a danger" to anyone, I ignore the comment/suggestion which is time-stamped 10:15 am. 

I believe it was on this morning (or possibly the previous morning) that I noticed the green icon on my gmail camera turning itself on. I would see the icon turn on, and I would turn it off.  A few minutes later, it would be on again. The webcam points at my office door which in turn faced the door to the bathroom shared by myself and my daughter. This is when I covered the camera lens.

Later that day I viewed a video from the band Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks which showed the interior of a home and band practice space that seemed to mirror the interior of my own home and band practice space, as viewed by security cameras. Carrie Brownstein was featured in the video. At one point, Carrie, dressed in a flannel shirt, plays a guitar using a cell phone as a "slide."  At this point it hits me like a ton of bricks. I yell, "There are cameras everywhere!"  Chris doesn't see or believe it, even when I tell him about the gmail camera turning itself on over and over.

I decide to call the Portland Police department and file a report. The results of this decision are detailed in affidavit #1.

Wednesday January 22, 2014

I ask my mother for help purchasing a radio frequency bug detector, and she refuses, pushing me hard to take ativan tablets (which are very sedating and affect memory) and insisting that I call/see my doctor. Using the same language that, unbeknownst to me, police and doctors have been using, she claims that I am "delusional." No one seems to care that I have a long professional history working in a technological field and can legitimately recognize when something is amiss. (I now very much believe that this was a crime in which my mother was directly complicit, and that she had been involved for years.)

Thursday/Friday January 23-24, 2014

For the past several days I have been followed by numerous individuals in cars and on foot. There is a lot of subtle but persistent mocking going on. I feel like I am being stalked by a lynch mob. It is confusing and very frightening. In addition, it seems clear that my attorney has been dishonest with me about what he knows regarding my situation, as well as about potential conflicts of interest in regards to his other clients including Tobi Vail's sister Maggie. Because I have lost trust in my attorney, in the Portland Police, in my mother,  and in my community, I now hope that I will be able to find unbiased legal help in another region. 

Saturday/Sunday January 25-26, 2014 

I leave for California. Because I know that my internet is not secure, my intent is to find a "safe" and anonymous place to stay, organize and back up my hard drive, organize the files and items I have collected as potential evidence, and hire an attorney who can help me sort through everything. 

I leave the house about 7 am. On the way out I notice that my car doors are unlocked (I never leave them unlocked). I also notice that all my neighbors have left their porch lights on, and their mailboxes open.

Within 1/2 mile of leaving my driveway, it is obvious I am being followed, aggressively. I turn my CD player very loud and the first car which tailing me (Chinese gangster looking guy in a sports car) drops away.

As I enter the highway it becomes obvious that I am being followed by many people. It seems clear that there is a tracking device on my car, because no matter where I drive, no matter what turns I take, they are able to follow. 

While I am in California my car is broken into at least once (and all the mirrors "adjusted"), my hotel room is broken into and my personal items moved around, my hotel key card is disrupted and has to be re-keyed more than once, and elevators are disrupted using handheld devices. I deal with aggressive drivers who pull in front of me and slow down, trying to force me to speed in certain areas. I get a lot of aggressive stare-downs from people who appear to be gangsters of various sorts. I discover that someone has planted methadone in my laptop bag, which I remove and discard. While driving at night it becomes clear that my car's electrical system has been hacked and commandeered, including my headlights, radio/CD player, heating system, and shocks.  The car does not seem to accelerate normally, either, it feels like there is a "drag" on it. (Thankfully, I don't notice any problems with my brakes.)

Saturday night I stay in a hotel, but after the hotel room is broken into and the hotel manager begins to behave strangely, I leave. After sunset is when I discover the hacking of my car's electrical systems. Many other strange things were occurring as well, which I have detailed elsewhere. In any case, it seemed clear that driving at night wasn't safe, and I was now concerned about the safety of hotels as well. That is why I pulled into the parking garage at the Sacramento airport and stayed at the airport Sunday night.

Monday January 27, 2014

Because I don't feel my car is safe to drive, I call an old friend of my parents, Julie Brusca, who lives near Sacramento, where I hope to find a helpful attorney. An aunt has offered to help me financially if I need it. While I am busy trying to back up my computer, unbeknownst to me, Julie calls my mother.

Because she had already refused to help me, I had not told my mother that I was leaving, where I was going, or why. I had told Chris everything, however. I had left a note for Chris to give to my parents, and a note for Brook, but he decided not to give out any of the notes. (Notable: when I went to write these notes, I discovered that nearly every pen in the house had inexplicably disappeared.) I

expected Chris to look out for Brook (who just turned 18) for a few days, and I expected to be back home no later than Wednesday morning.

Two male sheriffs arrive at Julie's door. I don't know where they have come from, but they ask me the usual questions, and I tell them I'm fine, and that my intent is to contact an attorney regarding some personal business.  

About 40 minutes later, two female sheriffs deputies arrive at Julie's door, accompanied by about half a dozen firefighters. They are much more assertive, and though I ask Julie not to let them in, she does. The deputies paw through my luggage (perhaps looking for that planted methadone?) They surround me, and begin to ask Julie leading questions and suggest answers to her. When I call them on it, some of them (including the deputies) take Julie into another room, while others surround me and distract me with small talk. When they come back into the room Julie looks dazed and intimidated. 

They try to convince Julie that I should go with them, until finally she looks intimidated and says, "I think you should go with them." To me, their behavior is so outrageous, I don't think they are real law enforcement officials. I say I am no danger to myself or anyone, and I won't go with them. So they grab my arms and cuff me. I go limp and they carry me out to their squad car, knocking off one shoe on the way.

The two sheriffs deputies, named Sunseri and Waggoner, ask me what insurance I have. I say I have Oregon Health Plan / Care Oregon. They take me to what they say is an Emergency Room, but it seems more like a haunted house. I am brought in via wheelchair around 1:20 pm, and do not recall speaking with a doctor at all. Three large vials of blood are taken from my arm, and they get urine as well. They ask me to sign paperwork giving permission for a CT scan, which I refuse. They ask me to sign paperwork which is circular and nonsensical. They wheel various "patients" past me who are asked to relate their medical history within my earshot. I am quite certain that these were not patients, but actors.

They then leave me in a gown, on a gurney, in the hallway, with my legs facing a camera, for 12 hours.  I am given a blanket.

Tuesday January 28, 2014

At about 1:20 am, an heirloom gold ring is stolen off my finger. I am then placed, alone, in the back of an old ambulance, fastened to the wall by one leg, and driven (aggressively) to a "behavioral health" facility in Stockton, California.

The experience in Stockton is also quite strange. I began keeping notes in the facility, and wrote a detailed narrative of all these events a few weeks later.

At one point I am given an "EKG Test" but hooked up to a machine which appeared to be non-functional. It seemed to me like more of an opportunity to partially expose my breasts before a camera.

There is no confidentiality in the facility. Patients' medical conditions are discussed openly in front of other patients. All the actual doctors seem to be from India. 

I am given a drug called "Risperdone."  At night, changes in the heating and noises are used to deliberately disrupt my sleep, especially in the early days. The wrong kind of "talk" is punished by infusing the halls with bad smells, something like burnt chicken, and the food is sometime infused with a horrible flavor like that smell. 

At one point I see a counselor named Crystal. When I ask her if she believes that all these things really happened to me, as far as the hidden cameras, she says nothing but silently nods her head "yes."

At another point, in  the middle of the night, I hear/see what seems to be one of the deputies who apprehended me examining a piece of potential evidence I had been carrying in my luggage in a paper lunch bag. "Is it bad?" One person says. "It's not good" another says. That piece of evidence would later be missing.

The drug risperidone is very sedating, and on the last day of my stay I also notice that my hands are trembling. Another "patient" snidely remarks that I am feeling the effects of risperidone, but I now believe that the trembling is actually the result of wirelessly administered electric shocks.

After leaving the facility I continued to experience these electroshocks including, I believe, at the Sacramento airport via a hand held device which looked like a black box with an antenna, pointed at me by a young man. When I asked him if he was pointing that device at me, he grey very defensive/angry.

After returning to Portland my mother drove me from the airport straight to another mental health facility run by OHSU and acted like she was going to have me involuntarily committed again. In the following days and weeks she called police and doctors several times, reporting that I wouldn't take my medication, and once even falsely claiming that I had attacked her.

Februrary 3, 2014 

I went to OHSU hoping to clear up the misinformation about my mental health. I spoke with a pair of psychologists who proceeded to concoct a report full of lies and misrepresentations (see affidavit #2).

2014-2015 

During 2014 and 2015 I experienced a nearly constant state of harassment which I detailed regularly in a journal. My mother made several calls and false claims to my doctor, to mental health facilities, and to police. Police came to our house once during an argument Chris and I were having about this entire topic, separated us, and, I later learned, asked Chris if he would like to have me locked up. It appears that they have extensive "records" on me, stemming almost entirely from my mother's false claims.

Other forms of harassment included being followed regularly on foot, and in cars, being buzzed by airplanes, being shocked regularly, and being monitored constantly, especially at home, at school, and in the public library. I believe that our cell phones were, and are, being used as microphones. I believe that "revenge porn" and other human trafficking activities occurred regularly as well. 

Most upsetting have been the electric shocks, being harassed during class time at PCC and in the computer labs, and being monitored via hidden cameras in the PCC bathrooms.

As far as the electric shocks, at least three times I was shocked severely enough that I saw red splotches on my body: once on my forehead, once on my temple, and once in the white of my eyeball.  Once I was shocked so severely I could barely stand, walk, or think the following morning. Other symptoms of the shocks include reddened eyes, drowsiness, urge to urinate, shakey hands.

The shocks have lessened a lot in frequency and severity, but I do believe that I was shocked as recently as January 3, 2016.

In April 2014 my personal physician, unbeknownst to me, diagnosed me as "delusional." He seemed to also paint me as a drug seeking addict rather than a legitimate medical marijuana patient. I only learned this in late November 2015, after a records request. I believe that this particular report deeply mischaracterized my situation and put me in danger of being apprehended again in a manner similar to that which had occurred the previous January. I don't know, but I believe that Dr. Frank was being pressured by OHSU who were in turn being pressured by someone, perhaps a donor.

In fact, the record company I went to visit in Los Angeles (Warner Brothers) refused to send a representative to meet with me, and simply called police, but this time the police were relatively friendly and easy going. When I told the police that they could not legally take me unless I was a danger to myself or someone else, and that I was not a danger, they asked a few questions, then didn't bother me anymore. They were quite nice, actually.

In late 2014, I discovered an old photo of mine which had been taken with an iPhone in 2010 and downloaded to my laptop, but never published, appeared to be the model for a 2012 German poster for the Seattle band Mudhoney.  The only way that anyone could have seen and used this poster would have been if my personal laptop had been illegally accessed.

I believe that the doctors involved at Adventist Health and OHSU in Oregon, and at Dignity Health in California; the police in California and Oregon, and my own parents were all well-aware that I was never delusional, and that my suspicions were valid. We were, and are, being kept under surveillance. 

I believe that these doctors, my mother, and the police had some kind of stake in maintaining the status quo, and for that reason, they attempted to frame me as delusional. 

The unfortunate result is now I have scads of paperwork in the form of doctors reports and presumably also police reports, painting a false picture of my mental, emotional, and intellectual well-being. In addition, I have lost thousands of dollars which I spent traveling, seeking professional help, and seeking an education in the field of media and technology. (The harassment in the PCC media labs eventually because so disruptive and disturbing that I changed all my classes to paralegal classes.)

To make matters worse, I have reason to believe that my medical records have been widely distributed, both because of my cell phone being turned into a microphone (thus broadcasting all kinds of confidential information, including medical information) and I have reason to believe that the records themselves have not been kept secure. This only compounds the problems created by the false portraits created over time by several different doctors.

I really would like to have this information corrected, and that is why I began to write affidavits in response to some of the medical reports. However, as I began to gather more and more medical information, it became clear that the problem is far too large to be adequately addressed with a few affidavits and/or potential corrections.  That is why I am seeking legal assistance in this matter.

Primarily, I would like the misrepresentations in my medical records to be remedied. I would also like the surveillance, which I believe I can prove existed, and exists to this day, to end. I would also like the trafficking behaviors to end.

Finally, I would like to receive appropriate compensation for pain, suffering, financial, and professional loss.